Successfully Parenting Our Tennis Juniors
March 4th, 2012 | 
Author: The Role Tennis Parents Play in a Junior’s Tennis Success
There has always been some controversy on how much involvement a parent should have in nurturing their junior’s tennis career. I read an interesting study done at the Michigan State University. It was written under a USTA Research Grant for the USA Tennis High Performance Program. Its goal was to interview parents, junior tennis players and coaches to determine if there are approaches that were more effective in developing a junior tennis player. It outlined three phases of development based on age. Below I have listed the positive tennis parent behaviors for the first phase. Click the Continue button at the bottom of the page to display all three phases. Click the link above to read the entire study.
POSITIVE TENNIS PARENT BEHAVIORS
Phase OneINTRODUCTION/FOUNDATION Age of Player: 4.6-9.4 Years in Phase: 4.8
- Provided Transportation
- Held Emotionally Intelligent Tennis Discussions
- Provided General Support
- Were Involved with Child in Tennis
- Provided Emotional Support
- Provided Logistical/financial Assistance
- Provided Opportunities/Resources
- Emphasized Multiple Sport Participation
- Exhibited Emotional Control
- Provided Encouragement
- Didn’t Pressure/Over-push
- Pushed Optimally
- Hit with Child
- Provided Basic Instruction
- Did Not Try to Coach
- Served as Match Coach
- Developed Child Athletically/Physically
- Taught Sport Psychology Skills
- Made Sacrifice/Effort
- Emphasized Fun
- Focused on Hard Work and Development
- Developed Player While Having Fun
- Kept Tennis in Perspective/ Balance in Life & Tennis
- Stressed Good On-Court Conduct
- Taught Life Lessons Through Tennis
- Made Tennis a Family Experience
- Created and Maintained a Stable/Secure Home Life
Continue reading “Successfully Parenting Our Tennis Juniors” »
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‘Someday’ Is Here
For years I had been telling my daughter, ‘someday you will be beating me, and it won’t be because I give you anything”.
Through the years, if she did not have matches on a Sunday, we have been playing. It’s fun for both of us, and she always can use the match play. We usually play best 2 out 3 sets, although we generally play a tiebreaker in lieu of the 3rd set. Occasionally she would beat me, but usually I would give her unlimited double faults, I would keep obviously out balls in the rally going by hitting them, or I would replay points where she made a really bad shot that I know she could make. Or perhaps I would not play my absolute best, because I didn’t want her to get discouraged. I tried to play her fair, but at times I played to keep it even.
Recently in our Sunday matches she has been beating me legitimately. ‘Someday’ is here. I take the double fault points, I don’t give her do-overs, and I hit my serves as hard and as well-placed as I can. Her groundies are better than mine, and she comes to the net to finish points better than I can. The only area where I might be better is on the serve. She has a nice solid serve, but it does not have a lot of pace. I can out-hit her there, and now I have to try for as many free points as I can get.
She enjoys beating me, and I’m the happiest loser you have ever seen when she does.
How Much Tennis?
Recently I was asked by someone about how much tennis a week a child should be playing. The really simple answer is as much as the child wants, but the real answer isn’t that simple.
For a young child, say 8 years old or younger, tennis should be mostly about fun. There are exceptions, and some 8 year olds can play 10 hours a week or more and love it. In my experience, that would be a highly motivated child with highly motivated parents, and those hours are likely done at a tennis academy. For a child who simply enjoys tennis and is starting competition, think about 3 hours a week in a group lesson environment, along with 1-2 hours of one-on-one instruction.
For a child between 10 and 12, their tennis must be balanced with their schooling. For a child enjoying playing competitive tennis, 8 to 10 hours a week is fairly normal, but less is ok too. At least a portion of this should be spent in a group lesson environment where the emphasis is on fun, with the majority of the time spent in private or semi-private lessons. For a child simply enjoying tennis with no thought of real competition, just the group lessons may fit the bill.
For a child 13 and up, this is where their tennis gets serious. We as parents have to make the decision whether or not to go forward. You can still go with between 8 and 10 hours a week, but the group play may need to be diminished. If your child truly enjoys tennis, then most of their time needs to be in private and semi-private lessons. There may be a financial limitation (tennis lessons are expensive!), but if your child really enjoys playing the time they are spending is invaluable.
For all serious players, don’t forget the match play. Match play is essential, and it doesn’t have to be a sanctioned tournament. For years now, our daughter has been playing practice matches with friends. Some of the players are clearly better than her, and others are a level below her. But they all seem to enjoy it, and best of all, she has made some really good friends through tennis.
You’re a Tennis Parent? Great!
You’re a tennis parent? Great!
As tennis parents, we get a lot of negative connotation. In truth, there are some people who are ‘bad’ tennis parents. The type that yell at their kids, berate them for losing, and generally just make themselves look bad. We all know who they are, and maybe sometimes each of us has exhibited some traits of the ‘bad’ tennis parent. But the great majority of us are people who care enough about our kids to foster their development in a really fun sport.
So I say let’s take back the term. As a tennis parent, we can watch with pride as our kids play, celebrate their wins, help them cope with the losses, and always love them unconditionally. Very few of our kids will ever make it to the pro ranks, and I know very few kids who are serious players who DON’T have that dream. But we as parents know how long the odds are, but let them dream while they still can.
Play tennis with them. It’s fun for you, and it’s REALLY fun for them. My daughter (13 as of this writing) loves to beat me, and right now it’s about a 50/50 proposition as to who wins or loses.
Take them to professional tournaments. It is highly entertaining, and I know our daughter loves to get autographs and talk for a bit with the players. Most pros are very friendly and unless they are on their way to a match will always stop, sign autographs, and pose for pictures. Every year we travel to Key Biscayne for the Sony Ericcson Open, commonly called the Miami Masters. It is not overly expensive, and there are so many matches going on all day any tennis fan will love it. Additionally, this past year we attended the Campbell Hall of Fame Championships in Newport RI and the Sarasota Open in Longboat Key FL. We had a great time at all the tournaments.
My dad passed away several years back, and one of the things I remember best from my childhood is that Dad played baseball with me and coached my Little League team. At the time I did not realize how awesome this was, it just seemed like something he always did. And that’s probably the best way to put it: It’s something he always did. Memories like these stay with you forever, and know the memories you create now for your children will stay with them throughout their lives.
Life Lessons Tennis Teaches Us
As parents, we can teach our kids a great deal. Life can also teach your child a great deal, and sometimes when they don’t know it.
In playing junior tennis, your child is learning a great number of things, most of which they aren’t even aware. To me, this is the greatest thing that tennis does for our children, but as parents we do need to talk to our kids about this.
Our daughter started playing USTA matches at age 8. She got beat rather soundly for several matches until she won one, but we made it a point to reinforce the other things she was learning. She had to go up to a complete stranger (usually, unless they played each other before), interact with that person, warm up, and then play a competitive match with her. We pointed out to her that this was a valuable skill she was learning, especially for someone who was a bit shy (as she was). Now it doesn’t even phase her, and even better she has evolved into a girl who makes friends very easily.
Annie mixing it up
She had to call her own lines, and deal with kids who did too. This taught her how to resolve a conflict, and also how to stick up for herself when she knew she was right. Also, in cases where she knew she had hit a good shot and the other kid called it out, it showed her how to deal with things that were unfair. She tries to stick up for herself, but in the end she knows it’s the other person’s call. She also has the mindset “it’s only one call”, and goes on with the match. Very few matches are decided by a single bad call, and there are no instances of my daughter losing a match over a single bad call.
When things aren’t working in a match, she had to learn to make adjustments. We have seen her mix a few more slices when playing against a big hitter who maybe doesn’t move so well. Another case is where she noticed her opponent could barely keep a rally going, so she played her shots away from the lines and hit solid groundstrokes. These are critical thinking skills essential in problem solving.
Best of all, she is playing a sport she truly enjoys and she is pretty good at it. Point out to your child these life lessons tennis teaches them.
